Please Forgive My Fear!

I walk on space,
On air so thin
I fear to fall.

Dear God forgive me
For my fear to love
For being so small
In a world so big
Forgive me for not wanting pain
For seeing it first before joy

I know I shouldn’t look first,
At how easily I bruise
Or harden my shell to outside touch,
Or hide within my self,
Or stare with dead eyes

Forgive my fear
Of reaching out over empty spaces,
For taking all the love you give
And giving nothing in turn

When next I shy, nudge me to try
When next I sigh, nudge me to smile
When next love needs, steady my feet
That I may be here,
To brave my fear.


(Anonymous)

A Wondrous Fable

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. 

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education.

If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of."

And that he did. In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia. 

What saved him? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.

His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

"Someone once said what goes around comes around."

Cursing Yourself for Past Mistakes

"Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain."

(Khalil Gibran)

How do you deal with your past mistakes?

Today, I'd like to recommend a great way to burden your mind, waste time, and lower your self-esteem.


It's called Cursing Yourself for Past Mistakes.

Try it out on yourself and people you dislike! It's very easy to do, and anyone can do it. It’s great for injecting endless hours of frustration and stress into your life!

I've known many people who do this very well, but just in case you're having some difficulty, here are some pointers to send you on your way?

First, think of all the things you did or failed to do in the past.

Especially, things which you cannot do anything about it now. Constantly remind yourself of them and beat yourself up for them.

A good way to do this is to keep whining about them. If you can regularly complain to others, it is even better! Remember to sigh a lot too. There's nothing like constant verbal repetition for these past mistakes to really stick. Then, tell yourself that you'll never be able to adjust your behavior to prevent similar errors in future. Learning from mistakes just never crossed your mind. Remember, self-improvement is a myth.

This kind of thinking will start a vicious cycle. Remembering how incapable, unlovable, and foolish you are will enable you to continue repeating past mistakes. Now this part is essential in order for the entire self-loathing process to work.

In no time, you'll be able to whittle your self-esteem down to such a degree that you will have no problem thinking you're absolutely incapable of success and happiness. The strategy is laughably simple: reinforce negative thoughts and experiences and they will inevitably lead to negative feelings and outcomes.

Remember, you are not special, you are not unique. The world simply doesn't need another loser like you. If you're doing everything right, by this time, you would have lost most of your friends, alienated your family members, lost your appetite for food and life, and are looking forward to a lonely, meaningless existence.

So, if you're ever bored, and need to kill some time, depress your spirit and embrace failure as lord of your life, try cursing yourself for past mistakes. Have fun!

Bill Gates speech: 11 rules kids did not and will not learn in school

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! 

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. 

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. 

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. 

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. 

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. 

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. 

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. 

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. 

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. 

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

The seashore!

I sat by the seashore, all alone tonight,
Thinking of you in the setting sun’s light,
You and I, baby, we were completely same,
Like a soul cloned in two bodies,
Like same heart, but different brains.

Remember the seaside, we used to enjoy,
Used to dance with the splashing waves,
We kissed lovingly under the moonlit night,
As I sang you serenades.

You held my hands, swore never to leave,
But all I hold now is sand,
The sand that, like your memories,
Is slowly slithering out of my hand.

Who knew you would do infidelity,
And run so far away from me,
Choosing death over me as your partner,
Leaving my soul to search for you longingly,

I feel like a pebble, sitting on the beach sand,
Orphaned and cold, ever since you left my hand,
These waves are all I have, for they took you away,
And so I await my turn, waiting at the shores for eternity.

                                                                                                                                (M.S Khan)

Dictator's Ship & its Crew - An Epilogue

The truth is harsh but it stands tall: dictators might get themselves beheaded under the 'constitutional guillotine' of article-6 but, what about the 'political crew' that endorsed their every action of vivacity? Do they deserve another chance? If dictators don't then, thumbs down to them too.


It seems like yesterday. Yeah! I remember that eve of October 12, 1999. The day my father heard a rumour of yet another military takeover. I was in second standard and was forcing my young mind to get a glimpse of a situation. As an innocent 'bacha', the first genuine thought that struck my mind was, "Why Pakistanis are fighting against each other?". The grown-up mind still seeks for a much 'simpler' answer, even to this date.


Each stage of life doesn't last forever as did my childhood, that faded away in a rush. Soon, I entered my 'mainstream teen life'. The time when I was revealed to the heroics of one man; General Musharraf. The man was a definite choice for my ideal. Bold, confident, patriotic and sincere; I became his eternal fan. After witnessing his fiery speeches in 'Jalsas' and his development proclaimations in 'Sarkari TV', obviously for an 'ordinary guy' like me, he was the voice of people for years to come.


Till the day, when it all went wrong. The dark year of 2-007 overshadowed his dominance. Later, in a 'comedy of errors' he lost his grip on CJ issue, Lal Masjid Operation, Benazir assassination - and most importantly he lost my respect. His mass oppression caused his decline and soon, he fell off his head.

'Ruthless' Musharraf as depicted in cartoon

February 18, 2008 elections marked a sunrise of a new dawn. When my 'freshly riped' mind came to know of some new faces in the political arsenal and of course, a new index term 'Jamhuriat and its Husaan'. Where the talk shows preached the beneficialness of the democratic system, my mind was puzzled on something else -  I came to know that 'General Sahib' was a 'dictator' - he wasn't a 'revolutionary reformer' or a 'enlightened moderator', a 'charismatic enigma' or a 'true commando' - he was just another dictator. The over-rated outspoken buffoon who robbed a poor country, and flew to London; as did Iskander Mirza during the first martial law or like most recent 'display of patriotism' of self-proclaimed 'sher', Nawaz Sharif.


Anyways, the word 'Dictatorship' - I thought I had heard this word somewhere. Yes! The great Roman emperor Julius Caesar, he was a dictator too; sadly got killed by a mob of parliamentarians. How could I not mention German der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler, who killed a millions, according to the 14th chapter, of my torn history book in class seven. But, why frequently uttering the the word in present times; I was surprisingly amused. Were the public masses of ours were cursed by slumber decade ago? Did the word actually existed in the Oxford dictionary when cope d'etat was in progress? 


As a student of science, I tried to adopt a more logical method to 'dissect' the new word. I suggested that 'Dictatorship' is popped up of two words - 'Dictator' and 'Ship'. Of course, a dictator needs a 'Ship (Country)' to drive it as its captain. To sail it to the 'destiny unknown' with his 'fictional wisdom'. But, it has turned out that dictator's ship wrecks over time and drowns in the deep blue sea; as far as the to and fro experiences of Pakistan, the country suffering in the hands of four military adventuresome, speaks for itself.


Those who know about ships can argue that captain is not only the guy responsible of a failure. There are many faces behind the scenes as well - the sailors, the seamen and midshipmen - what you can simply call a crew. The crew is the real supporting cast, so why blame only the captain? When other members had their golden times too. So why only blame the men in uniform when, others are stinging behind public's back too?



Take a look of  illuminating faces of some of these crew members and the history they share with their respective captains:-


1. Bhutto & Ayub Duo

"The dictator is the one animal who needs to be caged; He betrays his profession and his constitution. He betrays the people and destroys human values. He destroys culture. He binds the youth. He makes the structure collapse. He rules by fluke and freak. He is the scourge and the ogre. He is a leper. Anyone who touches him also becomes a leper. He is the upstart who is devoid of ideals and ideology. Not a single one of them has made a moments contribution to history " - (Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto)

Young Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto looks upon Ayub Khan as an inspiration

He might be the greatest orator in the national history but, it is hard denying the fact that he himself commenced his career in the political arena under the umbrella of the first and the only Field Marshall, General Ayub Khan.

President Ayub Khan and Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto with other members of cabinet 

Bhutto became the youngest Pakistani cabinet minister when he was given charge of the energy ministry by President Muhammad Ayub Khan, who had seized power and declared martial law in 1958. He was subsequently promoted to head the ministries of commerce, information and industries. He became a close and trusted advisor to Ayub, rising in influence and power despite his youth and relative inexperience in politics. In 1962, he was appointed Pakistan's foreign minister, swift rise to power also brought him national prominence and popularity. 


The 17 day war against India in 1965, proved to be the rift between him and Ayub Khan. Bhutto blasted unpopular 'Tashkent agreement' labeling it as the surrender of Pakistan to India. He resigned in June, 1966 and expressed strong opposition to Ayub's regime.

General Yahya Khan transfers power to Bhutto after fall of Dhaka

Later, in the turn of events which involved the establishment of People's Party, Ayub's resignation, elections of 1971 and fall of Dhaka - Bhutto was sworn into power from 1972-77, the time during which he gave the nation it's 3rd constitution, which is still in practice. Bhutto's government was later overthrown by General Zia-ul-Haq in a bloodless coup. He was executed in 1979 after the Supreme Court of Pakistan sentenced him to death for authorizing the murder of a political opponent, in a move that many believe was done under the directives of General Zia. Thus, Bhutto is distinctive in being the only decorated leader that was perhaps, was built and sadly killed by two different dictators.




2. Nawaz & Zia Woo

“We want democracy and nothing else. I am here to play my role and also make my own efforts to rid the country of dictatorship.”- (Nawaz Sharif)

General Zia-ul-Haq having a nice chat with Punjab's Chief Minister Nawaz Sharif

'Sher-e-Pakistan' Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif served the country for two non-consecutive terms, as its Prime Minister. His political career started in Punjab during the tenure of General Zia-ul-Haq, who is credited to be his political father, guru and mentor. 

PML(Q)'s campaign poster directed towards Nawaz's loyalty

Under the provincial government of Punjab in 1981, he served as the Minister of Finance with additional charge of Minister of Sports. Sharif later, served as a Chief Minister of Punjab for two consecutive terms. Some critics blame Nawaz Sharif to be a progeny of Zia-ul-Haq, who supported the Martial Law by working for the dictator as Chief Minister of Punjab for about a decade. In 1988, Zia died in a suspicious plane crash the time when, Nawaz Sharif was seen as an active participant during dictator General's funeral. The action that was pointed by PML(Q) during its political campaign in 2008. The campaign posters showed him supporting Zia-ul-Haq and carrying forward his 'Islamization legacy'.


During his tenure as country's premier leader, Sharif gained unmatchable popularity and international acclamation  for ordering Pakistan's 1998 nuclear tests in response to India’s nuclear tests. His brother Mian Shahbaz Sharif served Punjab as its sole Chief Minister during both of his reigns. Sharif's second term came to a dramatic standoff when, Army Chief General Pervez Musharraf took control of the authority and overthrew the government on 12th October, 1999.

The tagline speaks for itself!

Following his removal by a military coup, Nawaz Sharif was charged with kidnapping, attempted murder, hijacking and terrorism after he allegedly tried to block Pervez Musharraf from landing his plane at Karachi Airport. In December 2000, Sharif began his exile in Saudi Arabia after being pardoned by Pervez Musharraf. 


Afterwards, Sharif's political ideology transformed dramatically overnight, and he decided to fight dictator's unlawful rule instead of repeating his previous feat; signing of charter of democracy with Benazir Bhutto was a proof in this respect. Sharif returned to Pakistan in September, 2007, as a new 'Champion of Democracy'. And still awaits for his third regime of ultimate power.

3. PML(Q) & Musharraf Affair

General Musharraf with other PML(Q) members addressing the public

The PML (Q) was the undisputed "King’s Party" of General Musharraf's administration. After the Nawaz Sharif government was overthrown by General Pervez Musharraf's coup in 1999, the PML (Q) came into existance when it split from the PML (N) after, creating yet another schism in the history of the PML. 

President Musharraf with then sworn Prime Minister Chaudhry Shujaat

Led by Mian Azhar and later Shujaat Hussain, the party was openly backed by General Musharraf. A political party with influential members such as the Chaudhary's of Gujrat, Pervaiz Elahi and Chaudhary Shujaat Hussain ; Chaudhary Ijaz ul Haq ; Humayun Akhtar Khan. The PML (Q) started as a small group of half a dozen like-minded people in the PML, in defiance of Nawaz Sharif and his family's monopoly on the party. Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain and Chaudhry Pervaiz Elahi came to the 'rescue of stability' of country and saw their new party PML (Q) win the general elections of 2002. The unpopular 17th amendment was overwhelmingly endorsed by members of PML(Q). 


Under Musharraf's authoritarian headship, PML(Q) government completed its allocated 5 years of rule - becoming the first and the only government to do so. The trio of Mir Zafar ullah Khan Jamali, Chaudhry Shujaat and Shaukat Aziz enjoyed the designation of being country's Prime Ministers. The other Chaudhry, Pervaiz Elahi served Punjab as its Chief Minister from 2002-2007. The Cinderella story ended when their later years of rule, were plagued by the curse of CJ issue, Lal Masjid and Bugti Operation. The President of the party Chaudhry Shujaat Hussain and Chaudhry Pervaiz Elahi supported Musharraf step by step. They have been faithful to the general in even the most adverse circumstances.

Chaudhry Brothers are criticized for their unconditional support for Musharraf 

February 18, 2008 was the day which marked the decline of PML(Q). The party lost major parliamentarians in the 2008 general election, gaining only 49 elected seats, and the Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) and the PML (N) opposition parties won the election. On August 18, 2008, President Musharraf resigned under the pressure of facing an impeachment. The day after, Chaudhry Shujaat declared 'to run the party without the assistance of under-hands.' - which were used before. PML(Q) now suffers from severe schizophrenia period, after facing numerous split-ups and is on the way to its 'much expected' drop-scene.


The truth is harsh but it stands tall: dictators might get themselves beheaded under the 'constitutional guillotine' of article-6 but, what about the 'political crew' that endorsed their every action of vivacity? Do they deserve another chance? If dictators don't then, thumbs down to them too.